AboutThis blog features vegetarian sauropods and other things that amuse me.
abad1dea asked: Goto considered...?
…the saints of the most common optimizations performed by compilers is the optimization of variable lookup. Our compiler, as we have borne the image of Baal, and made a king over all Israel
This one is my favorite.
I have been working on a paper that I’ve been referring to as my thesis, because many people I talk to have heard of a Master’s thesis, and it communicates a pretty good analogue of the level of effort and importance to graduation that this paper involves. It’s not exactly a thesis because it isn’t a piece of original research or a systematic argument of a point in my field. It’s not remotely publishable.
My department requires what they call a pastoral reflection paper. The assignment is to integrate our “spirituality of pastoral counseling,” the psychological theories we favor, our experience as counselors so far, and a retelling of our “personal journey” into a 40-ish page paper. (Mine is more like 50 because I don’t know when to shut up.) I think the idea is to help us cement our professional identity and make us think about the questions before they come up in a job interview. We have two semesters of directed reading and writing for this purpose.
I’ve been grumpy about putting so much effort into a paper that nobody will ever read again, but maybe I’m just grouchy because transitions are hard. This is the last class. After this, I have to figure out what the last five years of school actually means for my life.
Anyway. The paper is basically done. There are some formatting things I could make better, and I came across a resource that I could add a quote from to make it a better paper, but the paper is OK. I promised to send it to my professor tomorrow so that he can start grading. A bound copy is due next week (all printed up on nice paper as if it were a real thesis).
So close to being done, I don’t feel like celebrating. I feel down. I’m disappointed that it’s not perfect, and also bored with it and tired of it and frustrated with the process. I’m scared about what’s next. I’m sad to be leaving some things behind. I’m mad at myself for the things I haven’t learned and the mistakes I made and the opportunities I skipped. I wanted to be the smartest, most awesome student ever, who never caused a problem or needed help from the saintly administrative staff. I wasn’t that student.
I’m bummed that I can’t show this paper to anyone and say, “See! I did a thing! My existence is valid!” But it’s not the sort of thing that I should circulate. So I have to, like, come up with spontaneous, I verified self-worth or something. As if I matter apart from what I produce.
So. That’s what I’ve been up to.